After an unusually restful nights sleep we awoke to find dad in the same position that he fell asleep in the night before. It seems that he has gone into a kind of comatose state, although he does respond to his name and move his limbs. This is certainly a step closer to the end, but also possibly a blessing of peaceful rest for him. Church and neighborhood friends stopped by with offerings of support and short visits with dad. What blessings the body of Christ is able to offer.
When we think of this blog, our desire is for it to honor dad and his heart. So, in honor of him I want to share a story with you that he has always loved.
I was a senior in high school and starting to think about which college to attend in the Fall. To help narrow the decision, my dad and I took a visit out to another high school that was hosting colleges from all over the area, for seniors to take a look at. As we were driving he asked me where I thought I would want to go. I replied with a couple of Bible colleges that I had looked at, then said "Anywhere but K-State." He nodded in agreement, but what I didn't realize at the time was that his mission then became to change my mind. He was an Ag guy and was of course a fan of any Ag school, especially one close to home.
We arrived and began browsing. After lots of looking, and feeling no more decisive then when I had arrived, we stopped walking directly in front of an auditorium. The doormen seemed to just be closing the doors, but looked up at my dad and I and asked, "The presentation is about to begin, would you folks like in?" With such a last minute offer I felt the pressure to comply before I even realized what school was being presented. I quickly asked what school it was, and they replied proudly with, "K-State!" Dad smiled unabashedly as they ushered us in. Dad led the way, walking past every open seat in every row, until we reached two perfectly placed seats, front row and center.
As the information was presented my heart began to soften towards this Ag school, out in the middle of what felt like "nowhere" to a Johnson County raised teenager. As I soaked up the information, above my head dad was launching his next ploy to win me over to K-State. He began making "eyes" at the presenter who was sitting on stage. Dad's eyebrows began to raise as his head motioned in my direction, non-verbal signals telling this guy to "hook me". The presentation ended and to my surprise the head presenter marched right off the stage, down the stairs and came right over to shake my hand. "Weird," I thought, but how nice that he wanted to meet me. He proceeded to answer any question I had and continued to sell me on the school. Not wanting to over commit myself I mentioned, "Well, I was really actually looking at attending a Bible College." The man didn't skip a beat as he launched into information about "A great little bible college right across the street from K-State. People can even get a dual degree from both schools!"
After the meeting dad and I walked out of the auditorium and I remarked, "K-State really does seem like a neat school." He nodded calmly in agreement, but if I would've looked up at him I know that I would've seen that knowing smile on his face.
Thus the vision was set in my heart, and I proceeded to attend K-State and Manhattan Christian College for the next 5 1/2 years, loving the schools more and more with each passing year. Dad knew just what he was doing when he helped point me in that direction. Thanks dad.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
How's my hair?
Dad doesn't do much of anything on his own these days. The tumor has affected his ability to put words together in a way that makes sense. It has also impacted the control he has over the right side of his body, his reasoning and even his vision. His coughing and low energy have resulted in him only being able to speak in a whisper. So everything he does, he has at least one of us helping him do it.
But it was really sweet the other day when, after mom had combed down his hair, he reached his hands out to be able to complete a familiar ritual, on his own. At first we weren't sure what he was reaching for, but soon we realized that he was looking for his brush for one hand, and his hand-held mirror for the other hand. Mom placed both in his outstretched hands and, to the best of his ability, he held that small mirror up and checked the back of his hair in the larger bathroom mirror, letting the brush clumsily roll over the parts that needed brushing. This is something we've seen him do for years, without a second thought. And to watch him do it now, it is just so sweetly familiar that we can't help but smile and love him even more.
But it was really sweet the other day when, after mom had combed down his hair, he reached his hands out to be able to complete a familiar ritual, on his own. At first we weren't sure what he was reaching for, but soon we realized that he was looking for his brush for one hand, and his hand-held mirror for the other hand. Mom placed both in his outstretched hands and, to the best of his ability, he held that small mirror up and checked the back of his hair in the larger bathroom mirror, letting the brush clumsily roll over the parts that needed brushing. This is something we've seen him do for years, without a second thought. And to watch him do it now, it is just so sweetly familiar that we can't help but smile and love him even more.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Sweetness
My dad has always been sweet, but over this past year his sweetness towards us seemed to grow.
While my mom was at work one morning he called her phone and left a voice mail just to let her know that he was having a great day, that he loved her and that it was a "day of love." My mom started her job this year and she had to dress up for it. Every morning he pointed his finger at her and reminded her strongly, "Remember, you are beautiful." He also would leave little love notes in her lunches, for her to find on her lunch breaks.
My dad and I took a trip to Texas in November, to attend an Andrew Wommack conference. He was sure to reserve an afternoon for us to catch a shuttle to the nearest mall. His mission was to buy me something special. After looking in a few stores we came across this special purchase: A pair of leather boots. I didn't own any boots at the time. I tried them on, they were rolled down at the top, and his eyes lit up. "Those are beautiful!" he exclaimed. He had me put my foot up on the stool in front of him and he unrolled the top and demonstrated how they could work in the snow too. We were both excited as he happily purchased them for me.
He worked hard this past year to finish our unfinished basement. He designed a portion of it with my sister and her artistic gifts in mind. She was a painting major, and he was all for seeing her succeed with her talents. He created a studio just for her, researching the best kinds of ventilation and lighting. Knowing how she likes her privacy when painting, he created this special area just for her. What a gift.
Dad allowed God's love to soften his heart through this whole process, when he could've done quite the opposite. I am so grateful for his openness to our Father.
While my mom was at work one morning he called her phone and left a voice mail just to let her know that he was having a great day, that he loved her and that it was a "day of love." My mom started her job this year and she had to dress up for it. Every morning he pointed his finger at her and reminded her strongly, "Remember, you are beautiful." He also would leave little love notes in her lunches, for her to find on her lunch breaks.
My dad and I took a trip to Texas in November, to attend an Andrew Wommack conference. He was sure to reserve an afternoon for us to catch a shuttle to the nearest mall. His mission was to buy me something special. After looking in a few stores we came across this special purchase: A pair of leather boots. I didn't own any boots at the time. I tried them on, they were rolled down at the top, and his eyes lit up. "Those are beautiful!" he exclaimed. He had me put my foot up on the stool in front of him and he unrolled the top and demonstrated how they could work in the snow too. We were both excited as he happily purchased them for me.
He worked hard this past year to finish our unfinished basement. He designed a portion of it with my sister and her artistic gifts in mind. She was a painting major, and he was all for seeing her succeed with her talents. He created a studio just for her, researching the best kinds of ventilation and lighting. Knowing how she likes her privacy when painting, he created this special area just for her. What a gift.
Dad allowed God's love to soften his heart through this whole process, when he could've done quite the opposite. I am so grateful for his openness to our Father.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Fun and Gratitude
Even though dad has been sleeping a lot, every time he wakes up he checks to make sure that we're having fun. I reassure him, "Yep, I'm watching a fun movie!" or "I'm eating a great snack!" Then he smiles in satisfaction and closes his eyes again. As long as we are happy, he is happy.
A couple days ago he was feeling really good so he had me sit down and write out some of his thoughts. The "translating" was difficult and I'm not sure I captured exactly what he was thinking, but everything I read back to him he loved. The result was a paper full of gratitue towards the people who have helped us, and plans for helping others in the future.
The deep love and gratitude in his heart continues to blow me away.
A couple days ago he was feeling really good so he had me sit down and write out some of his thoughts. The "translating" was difficult and I'm not sure I captured exactly what he was thinking, but everything I read back to him he loved. The result was a paper full of gratitue towards the people who have helped us, and plans for helping others in the future.
The deep love and gratitude in his heart continues to blow me away.
Monday, January 18, 2010
A Good Morning
After a couple of rough days dad woke up more like himself yesterday. He seems back on his "fun track" and has expressed it with pranks, jabs and lots of laughs.
This morning mom went to pick up our Aunt Wendy at the airport, so I sat in their room with dad. We enjoyed Carrie Underwood singing on the Today show. He remarked, "Ohh, I like her. She's pretty." He ate a good breakfast of muffins and coffee, which ended up all down his shirt so we promptly changed him into a new shirt. He fell asleep after breakfast until Aunt Wendy entered the room. He awoke with a confused look on his face, asking "Who are you? What's your name?" I was quick to try and set him right by explaining, "This is mom's sister, this is Aunt Wendy." Before I realized, a smile had slowly crept onto his face and he shouted, "GOTCHYA!"
Good old dad, we never know quite what to expect :-)
This morning mom went to pick up our Aunt Wendy at the airport, so I sat in their room with dad. We enjoyed Carrie Underwood singing on the Today show. He remarked, "Ohh, I like her. She's pretty." He ate a good breakfast of muffins and coffee, which ended up all down his shirt so we promptly changed him into a new shirt. He fell asleep after breakfast until Aunt Wendy entered the room. He awoke with a confused look on his face, asking "Who are you? What's your name?" I was quick to try and set him right by explaining, "This is mom's sister, this is Aunt Wendy." Before I realized, a smile had slowly crept onto his face and he shouted, "GOTCHYA!"
Good old dad, we never know quite what to expect :-)
Friday, January 15, 2010
An Anomaly
Although his journey is coming to an end, truly my dad made this year a beautiful year. One thing that the doctor remarked to him was, "Larry, you are truly an anomaly. With the kind of cancer, and as much of it as you have, you should not be walking, talking, thinking, or planning." All of which he has done, defying the odds of his diagnosis.
We surely have had a special grace resting on us this year.
We surely have had a special grace resting on us this year.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Visitors Beware!
Dad's balance has been off lately so everywhere he goes he has one of us hanging on to the back of his shirt, to stabilize him. So we were in for a surprise when mom's good friend, Mindy stopped in for a visit tonight. In typical dad style, his tail started wagging as soon as the doorbell rang. Mindy entered, dad spontaneously stood up and began charging our unsuspecting friend.
We shouted after him, "Dad? Dad! DAD!!!"
His legs wobbled, his head led the way and his body slammed awkwardly into hers, resulting in a headlock type of hug and a very shocked Mindy.
After more embraces, laughter and teasing the overzealous greeting finally ended. Dad plopped down on the couch next to me, smiled slyly and said, "I have fun!"
Yes you do dad, yes you do.
We shouted after him, "Dad? Dad! DAD!!!"
His legs wobbled, his head led the way and his body slammed awkwardly into hers, resulting in a headlock type of hug and a very shocked Mindy.
After more embraces, laughter and teasing the overzealous greeting finally ended. Dad plopped down on the couch next to me, smiled slyly and said, "I have fun!"
Yes you do dad, yes you do.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The grace to carry on
One of the things that has struck our family the most about how dad has handled his sickness is the absolute GRACE with which he has accepted every circumstance put in front of him. Dad was a self-made business man, straight off the farm of Oklahoma. He struggled to succeed, but succeed he did. He rose to a top CEO of a business, and when that fell through cooked up his own business, which he managed from home.
However, with the diagnosis of brain cancer, his limitations were soon realized. The tumor affects things like his ability to speak, balance, and reason. In the beginning he pushed through, trying to keep up with "business as usual", but surrendering when communication proved too difficult. This did not get him down because he soon designated our home as his new mission. He has worked, and hired others to work, to update our 20 year-old home to look like new. He began saving mom's grocery store receipts so that when we were able to drive him to the store he would know just what to buy. He loved providing for us. As his reasoning and balance became more difficult he realized he needed to surrender house work as well.
He has since taken up the responsibility of, "fun", which is such a blessing to our family. He justifiably could have taken up "anger", "despondency", or "depression", but he has submitted to God's grace working within him and continues through this process with laughter, kindness, joy, and the single-minded intent to spread the love.
However, with the diagnosis of brain cancer, his limitations were soon realized. The tumor affects things like his ability to speak, balance, and reason. In the beginning he pushed through, trying to keep up with "business as usual", but surrendering when communication proved too difficult. This did not get him down because he soon designated our home as his new mission. He has worked, and hired others to work, to update our 20 year-old home to look like new. He began saving mom's grocery store receipts so that when we were able to drive him to the store he would know just what to buy. He loved providing for us. As his reasoning and balance became more difficult he realized he needed to surrender house work as well.
He has since taken up the responsibility of, "fun", which is such a blessing to our family. He justifiably could have taken up "anger", "despondency", or "depression", but he has submitted to God's grace working within him and continues through this process with laughter, kindness, joy, and the single-minded intent to spread the love.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Brand New
Dad has been coughing a lot lately and after a tough night of continued coughing, he was drowsy this morning...UNTIL the doorbell rang!
We have been expecting a furniture delivery that dad has helped to plot and plan, for our sitting room. When the doorbell rang at 9:30 this morning dad went from closed eyes, sleeping and completely covered, to eyes wide with excitement, shouting my mom's name with two fists pumping in air. THIS is the dad I know so well :-) I ran into the bedroom to find his utter excitment as I helped him out of bed. Three young men were already moving furniture into our house as he was sure to greet each one of them. No matter his state, his welcomes are always so warm. As they moved and manuvered the furniture he stood in the kitchen expressing his excitement with each new piece that came through the door.
After it was all arranged he sat at our new table plotting and planning new ideas for different arrangements and set ups. He is a BIG ideas person and never fails to come up with ideas that rock the boat just a little :-)
Finally satisfied with the furniture, he laid down on our couch. From the other room I heard him turn to Lyndsay and tell her, "I feel brand new". What a statement for someone whose speech is impeded and who just had a long night.
He is simply unconquerable.
We have been expecting a furniture delivery that dad has helped to plot and plan, for our sitting room. When the doorbell rang at 9:30 this morning dad went from closed eyes, sleeping and completely covered, to eyes wide with excitement, shouting my mom's name with two fists pumping in air. THIS is the dad I know so well :-) I ran into the bedroom to find his utter excitment as I helped him out of bed. Three young men were already moving furniture into our house as he was sure to greet each one of them. No matter his state, his welcomes are always so warm. As they moved and manuvered the furniture he stood in the kitchen expressing his excitement with each new piece that came through the door.
After it was all arranged he sat at our new table plotting and planning new ideas for different arrangements and set ups. He is a BIG ideas person and never fails to come up with ideas that rock the boat just a little :-)
Finally satisfied with the furniture, he laid down on our couch. From the other room I heard him turn to Lyndsay and tell her, "I feel brand new". What a statement for someone whose speech is impeded and who just had a long night.
He is simply unconquerable.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Purpose
This is a blog dedicated to documenting the love, faith and joy of my dad, Larry.
Currently in his third battle with cancer he has learned how to live in the overwhelming peace of God that tells him always that "everything will be ok".
He is fighting this battle with a spirit of absolute joy that comes out in his public dance moves, his sweet "i love yous" told to his wife and daughters, and many other ways.
His joy is unconquerable and he has a strong desire to let the world know that they can have this joy too. This is our way of letting the world know.
God is the source of his joy, and in all things God's love will outshine any darkness we face.
He is a blessing and I am here to tell you about the ways he inspires me, and to inspire you to live in Love as well.
Please feel free to leave your comments for Larry!
Currently in his third battle with cancer he has learned how to live in the overwhelming peace of God that tells him always that "everything will be ok".
He is fighting this battle with a spirit of absolute joy that comes out in his public dance moves, his sweet "i love yous" told to his wife and daughters, and many other ways.
His joy is unconquerable and he has a strong desire to let the world know that they can have this joy too. This is our way of letting the world know.
God is the source of his joy, and in all things God's love will outshine any darkness we face.
He is a blessing and I am here to tell you about the ways he inspires me, and to inspire you to live in Love as well.
Please feel free to leave your comments for Larry!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
